I lost my older sister to cancer when I was six years old.
I tried to make sense of the trauma and turmoil my family were going through but my emotions weren’t developed enough to understand.
Struggling to grasp what was going on and circumstances forcing me to grow up quicker than my years, I managed to process that I wasn’t enough, a belief system that I carried around with me for a long time.
As a teenager, all the negative beliefs which had engrained themselves within my subconscious as a child started to shout louder and louder.
I was suffering from severe anxiety and depression - I was so ashamed of who I was.
I felt like I didn’t deserve love. I didn’t deserve acceptance. I didn’t deserve to be in this world.
I’d buried the real me so deep inside that I was unsure of who I was. I didn’t know what made me happy, what I liked, what I didn’t like. I had very little self-respect and my self-worth and self-esteem were non-existent.
But even with all the turbulence in my life, I recognised that I was highly empathetic.
I’m able to experience someone else’s emotions as if they are my own.
I have a radar to sense someone else’s pain and discomfort.
I’m able to provide space to allow people to be vulnerable.
I know the signs when someone is struggling, even if they aren’t expressing it with words. I pick up on body language, see a look, feel a vibe or energy, hear a tone of voice, observe the way someone may be overly defensive, a people pleaser or that they have simply given up.
I experience the world through my intuition. This allows me to geniunely connect with people, understand their pain points and help them move forward.
Deep inside me, I knew my life purpose was to use and share these skills but my own beliefs prevented me from taking action.
I worked with a counsellor to support me and it allowed me to understand myself as a child and as an adult. I reaised I had also suffered an incredible loss and I grieved for my sister and my six year old self.
But I struggled to let go of my internal belief system of not being enough.
When I had my first child it changed my world. I had a capacity to love that I didn’t even know was within me. It was that love that made me sit up and think ‘what the hell am I doing with my life?’
My father had also been diagnosed with terminal cancer and died when my eldest daughter was 6 months old.
The combination of becoming a mother and losing my dad set a fire within me. I wasn’t going to allow the tragedy of my childhood define me anymore. I needed to step up.
I quickly fell pregnant with my second daughter and during this time, I started to seriously think about how I wanted to show up in the world. I’d spent years reading books, learning about the human mind and emotions but I never did anything with it. I needed to take a leap of faith and start putting into practice everything I had learned.
I realised I was sick of spending my week in a 9-5 job that didn’t fulfil me. I wanted to be in control of my destiny. My first step was to create a business which gave me the freedom and flexibility I craved.
I set up my first business as a freelance personal assistant when my second daughter was 6 months old
It was going well and I was getting clients but it didn’t feel right. It wasn’t setting my soul on fire.
I was doing a lot of research, picking up tips and learning as much as I could about running a business when I came across a coaching group that focused heavily on mindset.
I’d read books on mindset, I understood the theory behind it and I’d even dabbled in the odd bit of journaling but I had never practised it.
This programme forced me to consistently work on my mindset, address and question my limiting beliefs and dig really deep into who I was as a person.
It allowed me to start chipping away at those gremlins that I’d been carrying around for most of my life. And it allowed me to begin to imagine what was possible for me.
When the programme finished, I worked with the coach 1:1 to continue with the progress I’d already made and to figure out where I was going with my business.
During this time, I allowed myself to look at what I loved. I evaluated the skills that came naturally to me, what made me happy and how I was going to build a life and career based around my passions.
The final piece of the puzzle was starting to fit.
I worked hard on my mindset, my belief system and found the confidence and courage to let the real me shine through.
I have since become a certified life coach and qualified as NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist. I am also in my third year of further education, to become an accredited counsellor.
I have gone from someone who didn’t believe they were worthy of human connection to having a fulfilling career, working in my passion and supporting people who are on their own journey, helping them to let go of their limiting beliefs and build their lives in a way that aligns with their values, strengths, passions and truth.
You’re at your most powerful when you are yourself. This means accepting everything that has happened to you, shaped you and made you who you are. If you deny those parts of you, it’s impossible to be your whole self and allow yourself to grow.
We are all unqiue but unfortunately what is extremely common is how many people feel they aren't enough.
Something has happened at some point in their life to make them feel that they aren't enough to live the life they desire.
I am truly grateful for every client who allows me to become part of their journey, helping them step into their own power, just like I have.